Wednesday, September 14, 2011

www.Dates.com

I'm terrible at fishing for men.  I never learned how to bat an eyelash or wink, and if I try it just looks like I'm having facial contortions. Additionally, much like real fishing, I find the process incredibly boring and tedious. Not to mention that if you do manage to catch anything it's still just a fish in the end and you're probably better off throwing it back. 

So... I decided why not give online dating a real opportunity? It allows me to throw lots of fish back, without having to attempt to be flirtatious or approachable, since my profile picture does all of that for me. 

After a couple of weeks of messaging back and forth with a few options, I finally gave my number to two perfect strangers that seemed to be who they said they were in their profile, and whose responses somewhat amused me.

Date Five: Joe D.


Type of Date: Dinner and Drinks
Transportation: Definitely drive somewhere public and meet up at the place

Average Rating: 7

Location 7: 
After quite a bit of indecisive texting back and forth about different places we could meet at, it was decided we would meet in Westminster at a Pho place with relatively good Yelp reviews that was open past 8pm.  The nice thing about this meet up location was that there was no pressure to dress up as if it were a real date, I wore jeans and flats (in case I needed to run for my life) a tank and a sweater.  The bad thing about this location, is that you had to sit across from a person you'd never met before and slurp up pho. There was a Vietnamese outdoor night market across the street from the Pho place where we could hear people kareoking to their favorite  Asian versions of American songs, which added entertainment and a place to walk to around after dinner.

Etiquette: 7
I think he insisted on paying for dinner, I'm not sure, it was done in a very awkward manner, first because we had to stand up to pay the check and then because the lady at the register seemed angry and apathetic at the same time.  He seemed to shrug off my card, but not in a confident "I got this" way, more in a strange no eye contact way. Being that this was an online dating website date, I had a hard time gauging exactly what is appropriate. He seemed respectful of my caution and was not intimidating in any way. I have to say, I don't recall if doors were opened or not as I was too busy fighting every survival instinct telling me not to meet with Internet strangers.

Conversation: 7.5
I know I've used to word awkward to describe a date before, but this kind of took the cake in a strange way. Conversation was, choppy. There were moments where our chat was easy-flowing and friendly and there were moments where it was mumbling and staring off to avoid eye contact.  Subjects stayed very neutral, revolving around school and work, and though he was not necessarily outgoing he took initiative in asking questions. Overall, I think I enjoyed myself and found talking to him did not require too much effort.

Beginning, Flow and End: 6.5
Weird, but a mutual understanding that we were both socially awkward people seemed to help. Instead of talking on the phone, his primary mode of communication seemed to be text. Which works out for me because who wants to be hearing the voice and breathing of a complete stranger? He texted me to let me know he was running late, and I texted him to meet me at the entrance.  Upon meeting it was unclear whether a hug, handshake or a high-five would be appropriate so it was settled with a far away arms-length hug.   We had a pleasant enough time at dinner and walking around at the festival to where it seemed okay to try to hang out afterwards (We were done doing all of this at about 9:30pm).  We tried yelping bars in the area. After failing at that, we settled for Lucille's at the Long Beach Town Center. We drove separately,  grabbed a drink, and continued to talk about neutral stuff, until they closed the bar (around 11pm). I decided to go to the bathroom before we walked out. When I came out of the bathroom he had disappeared and I found myself alone in an empty bar with the seats on the tables.  Naturally, I walked out.  Since he was M.I.A. outside, I started inching towards my car.  He came out shortly after, with a "Hey wait! I decided to use the bathroom too."  I replied "Okay, have a good night!" and then a hug as equally awkward and strange as the first was interchanged before we both kind of ran to our cars.

Summary:
Online dating is intimidating.  I think it's partially because exchanging messages with a person online is a little too easy.  You are quite aware that you never know what is actually on the other end. I imagine it is a little like online shopping, which I also refuse to do.  The picture and description can look nice on your computer screen, easy to find and relatively cheaper than your in store option, but until you get it delivered you can't be sure it will fit or look good on you.   However, there is some intrigue and a bit of a rush you get when taking a risk.   I cannot say I am fully open to online dating every guy with a cute picture that messages from here on out, but I might be less hesitant to consider. I might even consider a second date with Joe D., being that he asks for one.