Anyone that knows anything about me, knows that I'm what I can only describe as a "long-term" girl. It boils down to this: at twenty-five, while many of my peers have dabbled in double digits when it comes to sexual partners, jobs, apartments, I have had two jobs and two (that's right two) sexual partners (or boyfriends if you will). One job I held for five years and I detached from so slowly that I still worked the first year as I eased into my new one. As for boyfriends, the first one I was with for six years and the second for close to one year (I should mention the second one I knew for twelve years prior). So there you have it, I'm a long term girl. I choose not to say stable, because that would be misleading. My relationships have had all the fights, breakups, drama just at a much higher ratio per boy.
There are a few key perks to being a long term girl, mainly comfort level. Being a long term girl means the world is your old pair of sweats and t-shirt. Other girls enjoy putting on makeup for the evening and that new dress; they go out into the night in search of a new adventure. Us, long term girls, we enjoy slipping into the familiar, barefaced and barefoot. So the boys in my life have been the old jersey shirts I wake up with and wear through the day, to clean my bathroom, do laundry with and run out and pick up take out with.
You can imagine my horror then, when my second relationship ended and I found I could no longer afford to be a long term girl (at least where men are involved). Twenty-five flips a switch in most of us. I think it is often misrepresented by a biological clock (a desperate insatiable need to pop out spawn), when it is actually more of a reality check. For me it was a realization that I was twenty five and had never dated. Two men is a mighty small pool from which to derive or identify characteristics/ likes or dislikes that will help me to identify the man that will make me so insanely happy that I might begin to consider spending the rest of my life with him. In other words, how will I identify cashmere if I have been swearing by two polyester blend fabrics? It leaves me susceptible to thinking the first 100% cotton shirt I have a fling with is the one!
So, I am putting on makeup. I am straightening my hair and playing dress up. I will put long term girl on the shelf and begin a dating experiment, where I date several men without allowing any of them to become long term anything. And this is something I will begin...as soon as I figure out where to start.