Fish

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Downhill


I like to semi-regularly get a bikini wax. I shouldn't say like, because like most maintenance routines women undergo in the name of beauty it is thoroughly unpleasant. Luckily I have a charming, wonderfully gifted bikini waxer who gets me through the process every time. She is always the right combination of sympathetic and efficient.  Instead of several small sectional patches of wax she will always try to do four large patches.  As I cringe, when I feel the large chunk of wax that is going to have to be yanked off, she reassures me, "It hurts a little more, but you get it over with faster!"  Similarly, when recounting a bad date, like a strip of wax, I figure it should be pulled off in one fluid movement in order for the sting to be properly felt. Therefore I will begin with the summary instead of discussing it piece by piece.


Date Two:  Second Date with Joe A.

Type of Date: Movie Date

Transportation: Drive individually and meet there

Summary:
      I went on a second date with Joe A. in search of an answer to the question posed by my previous blog. If there is nothing terribly wrong but also nothing terribly right about a guy  is that enough to justify a second date? After a few puzzlingly flirtatious texts (ranging from calling me an old lady to saying he would brave polluted water surfing for me) we decided to go to a movie on a Saturday night at seven. Around six o'clock I get a text from Joe A., saying a buddy had flown in from out of town and if there was anyway we could meet later.   By that time I had received a more enticing offer to go out to a club with friends to find more candidates to date. I tried to smoothly weasel out of my date by saying he should hang out with his friend and we could always go to a movie on Sunday. He curtly responded "Yeah, I can't really go out Sunday." So the 8:10 showing of Mega Mind (my movie pick) it was.  When I asked him if he wanted to meet there instead of offering some form of driving together he simply agreed.  Disappointing because the theaters we were meeting at charge anywhere from 7 to 12 dollars for parking, but at this point there was no turning back without looking plain rude. 
      Unfortunately my date didn't share my vigor for etiquette. Contrary to character, I punctually exited my car at the parking structure at exactly 8:10 pm. I texted Joe A."I'm here" and headed for the theater. I should mention that also contrary to character, California was especially chilly that night.  This annoyed me as I waited out in front of the theater until I received a call from Joe A. at about 8:15 pm. He let me know he was still at the train station dropping off his buddy and would be 15 minutes late, but I should go ahead and get the tickets. I try to refrain from using emoticons but = O covers it in this case. I bought the tickets and headed inside to wait for Joe A. who showed up 40 minutes late (8:50).  He did offer to pay me for his ticket but by this time, I was so over it I figured we'd just call it even for the dinner he had gotten last time. We sat through Mega Mind which I actually quite enjoyed once I got past the fact that I had missed the first 20 minutes of it. 
      As we walked out Joe A. asked what I wanted to do, curious to see how much further downhill a date could go, I let him decide (perhaps a drink to make up for being so late?). He decided we should go back to his place. FAIL.  Regardless, in the name of research I agreed.  Not that he offered guide me there, he simply threw out his cross streets.  Needless to say as I drove there I went through several exit strategies in my head. I settled on having my sister call me and say I had to pick her up. Unfortunately my phone was low on battery at this point. So I entered his place and asked if I could borrow his electrical outlet. Afterwards, I sat across the couch from him.   We held a conversation that was as equally awkward as our first only there was a lot more pressure for physical proximity being that we were sharing a sectional with no table in between us.   I anxiously watched the clock and stalled for as long as I could. He failed to offer me a drink, alcoholic or other so naturally I asked for water. Avoiding physical contact is a lot easier with a glass in your hand.  He did not however fail to offer me a "full tour" of his place. I looked around and said "I think I can pretty much see all of it from here." 
      "Well you haven't seen the bedroom."
       "Oowp. Looks nice." I responded cocking my head to the side and looking into the door with the unmade bed inside.  With 10 minutes on the clock I did allow for some making out. He was a bit grabby and I stopped him to ask if he felt like it was a bit fast.  He did not, so I pressed him into telling him what he felt the typical male expectation of the progression of physicality was. This is what I learned: 1) First date: A kiss 2) Second Date: Kissing and "more" 3) Third date: All the way. To his credit, he was respectful about the fact that I was not comfortable with that progression. Regardless, when my phone rang at 11 I might have smiled as I dove to answer the call of my ailing sister that needed a ride.  He walked me out and wished my sister well.

Location: 5
 Under different circumstances, the Pike in Long beach is a perfectly nice place to go on a movie date. Not to mention it provides ample places to hang out after the movie.

Etiquette: 3
This score was a bit lower until my friend recounted her bad date that she needed rescuing from. Her date actually took her for a drive after dinner and pulled into a motel 6.  So taking the gender as a whole into consideration, things could have been much worse.

Conversation: 3
I must admit I was secretly amused for some parts of it.  The highligts including his bragging continously about having partial ownership of the building and him praising his neatness, especially since he no longer has a cleaning person.  Considering he is looking for a job, I am asuming both of these things are not due to his personal merit but that of his parents. At a certain age this seizes to be impressive to girls. To be honest, I don't know to what extent my amusement/disdain was a secret as I have very little control over my facial expressions.

Beginning, Flow, and End: 2
Need I explain?

Average Rating for the Date: 3.25 out of 10

Things I've learned: If you have a feeling it's going to be a bad date, it probably is going to be a bad date. The signs are simple and the feeling you get is very similar to the one you get when you see the hot wax next to the waxing bed. This is probably going to be painful.  Regardless, taking risks is necessary in the world of dating  as is pain, but always, and I mean always, have an exit strategy.   Needless to say, there will be no third date with Joe A., my bikini is a bit too coy for the three date progression.   

3 comments:

  1. I laughed so hard while reading this! My favorite part is when you wrote that you had 10 minutes so you allowed for some making-out time...lol.

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  2. P.S. Deken says you have to go on 20 different dates with 20 different guys...he's disappointed! Or you have to clarify :(

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  3. yes my goal is 20 guys, numbering dates just makes it easier to keep track of the order of them. :) Don't worry Deken. IF there are 20 guys out there that want to go out with me I will go out with them.

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